Things That Make Me Sick

I have been out of it the last few days. The day after I went into the doctor for my eye infection I came down with the flu. After three days of a temperature in the 100's, body aches, and just feeling crummy, that all stopped. Now I'm just left with a sore throat and a headache. At least I got it over with, and I won't have to worry about getting the flu when Logan gets here (if he ever does!!).

Lots of people have been asking about the progress of Logan. I just read an email that we received from our caseworker, and this was her new update.

"There have been lots of things that have recently added to delays in Guatemala. One is that with the worry that the Guatemalan Govt. would not allow any cases to completion after 31 December, close to 3000 families are pushing to have their cases expedited. That is causing delays for everyone! The good news is that the bill was passed in Guatemala today with a grandfathering clause, although we don't know yet how it's going to work, so we're not completely out of the woods. But things at least look hopeful there.

Another cause for delay is that the Embassy is now requiring the 2nd DNA test. That is slowing down all cases.

Most of Guatemala is taking holiday vacation, coming up in the next couple of weeks, so that will also slow things down as well.

The worst part, right now, in regard to your specific case is that, just as you had feared, we have learned that the birthmother is missing again, and so the DNA sample has not been sent to the lab. All of the paperwork has been done, and payment to the lab has been taken care of, so as soon as they find the birthmom, they can just do the test and send it. But the test couldn't be done before the paperwork was ready.

Since the DNA sample didn't go last week, that could put us into May 2008 at this point. "

To be honest right now I am hating the whole adoption process. It's so hard to know that someone else is raising our son. I feel like we have waited so long for this and everything keeps getting pushed back further and further. I don't understand why every thing has to be so difficult. I can't keep going through this unknown. It's horrible to set dates and get excited for him to come home just to learn that it's not going to happen. All I've ever wanted to be is a mom, and I don't understand why it's not happening for me. I love this time of year, but it is so hard to look at all the families and have that ache in my heart. I want so much to enjoy this time of year with my husband and my own children. There is a constant feeling of things missing, and a feeling that I'm not complete.

Thanks for letting me vent. Like I said I just read the email, so I'm still pretty frustrated and upset. I'm sure things will work out. Over these last few years I have learned that with so many things in life, I just have to know that it's in Heavenly Father's hands. I don't understand but I'm sure one day everything will make sense. It's just right now I'm having a really hard time seeing the big picture.